As our big day draws near, the more I see the need to scrounge in the deep of my digital treasure chest – the need to share with you our numbered readers how melodramatic our beginnings were.

Here are some text messages I compiled – according to the file timestamp it was modified on June 21, 2007. It was around that time when we two were dancing not tango but cha-cha-cha.

Both left feet.

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As a disclaimer, I couldn’t be too sure that these quotes were purely from the raging hearts of two early-twenty-something “kids”. Or only creations of my texting fingers and frustrated mind.

So you might find familiar a line or two from the game Silent Hill or elsewhere.

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Wanting and needing are two totally different things. Wanting satisfies while needing fulfills a desire. One is deeper than the other. One is superficial. One is inclined to inequality. The irony with the two is that a wanting person will never be satisfied and a needing person will always be fulfilled.

Romantic people aren’t fully logical when it comes to notions about love. But they are far better than cynics and logical thinkers and especially wounded people who eventually became bitter and lost their faith in love and compassion.

We are in a wrong situation to let things grow or get out of hand.

Let’s just say in this state of mine, i am already being fair to everybody. Including myself.

Taking a risk doesn’t mean just following what you feel. It involves responsibility, careful assessment of consequences and accepting them in the end.

Now, i am not ready to have a broken heart that is why i do not dare to take the risk fully. What? A broken heart by an attached person? That’s stupidity, not even a noble risk to take just for the sake of liking or loving.

Love the right person. Fall in love with the right person (hopefully). Don’t get involved with an attached person who already has someone to love and has someone to love her back.

The risk that i am taking is that one day, you will disappear in my life.

That will make our lives easier, wouldn’t it?

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And then, I welcomed myself to her world.